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Attila The Hun

Attila The Hun

Attila the Hun, also known as Attila (; fl. c. 406–453), stands as a commanding figure in history. His reign from 434 to his demise in March 453 left an indelible mark on the annals of time. As the ruler of the Huns, Attila orchestrated a tribal empire spanning Huns, Ostrogoths, Alans, and other groups across Central and Eastern Europe.

Unraveling Attila’s Dominance and Conquests

During his epoch, Attila’s name struck terror into the hearts of both the Western and Eastern Roman Empires. His audacious feats knew no bounds, as he dared to cross the Danube on two separate occasions, ravaging the Balkans. Despite his might, Constantinople, the great city of the Eastern Roman Empire, eluded his grasp.

The Triumph and Momentum

In the year 441, Attila’s triumph in invading the Eastern Roman (Byzantine) Empire bolstered his confidence. The victory paved the way for his audacious ambitions to extend further westward. Fuelled by success, he set his sights on Roman Gaul (modern France), crossing the formidable Rhine River in 451, and marching his forces toward Aurelianum (Orléans).

The Decisive Encounter

The culmination of Attila’s westward march led to the pivotal Battle of the Catalaunian Plains. Here, his forces clashed with opposing armies in a struggle for supremacy. Despite his tenacity, Attila faced defeat, marking a significant turning point in his relentless conquests.

Italy’s Conquest and the Unfulfilled Destiny

With his sights set on new horizons, Attila ventured into Italy, leaving a trail of devastation in his wake. The northern provinces felt the weight of his campaign, yet the grandeur of Rome remained beyond his reach. His ambition persisted, envisioning future campaigns against the Romans, but destiny had other plans.

The Demise of a Conqueror and the Fall of an Empire

Tragedy struck in 453 with the passing of Attila. His vision for further conquests was left unrealized, as the leader who had inspired both awe and dread met his end. Following Attila’s demise, a pivotal event unfolded—the Germanic revolt against Hunnic rule. Ardaric of the Gepids, Attila’s trusted advisor, rose to lead the charge, heralding the swift collapse of the Hunnic Empire.

A Lasting Legacy

Attila the Hun’s legacy endures through the annals of history, a testament to his prowess and audacity. His reign, marked by conquests and strategic brilliance, leaves an indelible mark on the tapestry of civilizations. From his fearless crossings to his audacious invasions, Attila’s name remains etched as a force to be reckoned with, forever remembered for his unparalleled influence in shaping the course of the ancient world.

In summary, Attila the Hun’s legacy, though fraught with both victories and defeats, stands as a testament to the indomitable spirit of a leader whose ambition knew no bounds. His story, one of conquest, courage, and unforeseen twists, continues to captivate historians and enthusiasts alike, offering a window into an era where power and destiny collided on the grand stage of history.

The Workout

Buy-in: 1,600m Run

100x Jump Rope Singles

100x Jump Rope Singles
75x Air Squats

100x Jump Rope Singles
75x Air Squats
50x Mnt Climbers

100x Jump Rope Singles
75x Air Squats
50x Mnt Climbers
25x Push-ups

100x Jump Rope Singles
75x Air Squats
50x Mnt Climbers
25x Push-ups
15x Burpees

Cash-out: 1,600m Row

Optimus Prime

Optimus Prime

Optimus Prime is a fictional character and the central protagonist of the Transformers franchise, created by Hasbro. He is a heroic and noble Autobot leader, known for his strong sense of justice, unwavering dedication to protecting others, and his iconic catchphrase “Autobots, roll out!”

In most iterations of the Transformers story, Optimus Prime transforms into a powerful and iconic red and blue semi-truck. He is depicted as a wise and compassionate leader who values freedom and equality. Optimus Prime is often in conflict with the villainous Decepticons, led by Megatron, as they battle for control of their home planet, Cybertron, and seek to protect other civilizations from their destructive ambitions.

Optimus Prime’s character has been portrayed in various animated TV series, movies, comics, and other media since the franchise’s inception in the 1980s. He has become an enduring symbol of heroism and leadership, resonating with generations of fans around the world.

The Workout

30:00 EMOM
Min 1: Max Push-ups
Min 2: Max Air Squats
Min 3: Max Sit-ups
Min 4: Max Lunges
Min 5: Max Burpees
Min 6: Rest

Ivar The Boneless

Ivar The Boneless

Delving into the annals of Viking history, one name that stands out in bold resonance is Ivar the Boneless. A formidable leader of the Norsemen, Ivar etched his mark through invasions of Anglo-Saxon England. Unraveling his enigmatic persona reveals a tapestry woven with intrigue, prowess, and legacy.

A Mysterious Moniker

The appellation “Ivar the Boneless” has intrigued historians and linguists alike. Rooted in Old Norse, Ívarr hinn Beinlausi, its meaning remains elusive. Translated as “Ivar legless” or “boneless,” it lends an air of mystique to his character. However, interpretations diverge, with some sources hinting at figurative implications, possibly connected to male impotence.

The Saga of Origin

Hailing from the lineage of the legendary Ragnar Loðbrok and his third wife, Aslaug, Ivar’s lineage was marked by both storied heritage and celestial wisdom. Born with a unique physicality, his weak bones were attributed to a curse, the consequence of his father’s impetuousness. Aslaug, a völva, had forewarned Ragnar of the dire repercussions of untimely consummation, a premonition tragically ignored.

Beyond Physical Constraints

While the sagas weave tales of Ivar’s physical limitations, they are juxtaposed with accounts of his brilliant mind and strategic acumen on the battlefield. His sagacity and tactical prowess set him apart, transcending the confines of his bodily form. Ivar’s legacy embodies the resilience of spirit over corporeal impediments.

The Complex Legacy

Ivar’s influence extended beyond his invasions. Often linked to Ímar, the Uí Ímair dynasty’s founder, his dominion spanned Northumbria and the Kingdom of Dublin, casting a long shadow over the Irish Sea region. A legacy punctuated by both martial conquests and political dominion, his impact resonated for generations.


Ivar the Boneless emerges as a paradoxical figure, where physical frailty belied a prodigious intellect and strategic brilliance. His saga intertwines with the broader tapestry of Viking lore, leaving an indelible mark on the pages of time. As we unravel the layers of his enigmatic moniker, we glimpse the tenacity of a leader whose legacy endures through the ages.

The Workout

20:00 AMRAP
10x Push-Ups
10x 90-Degree Box Jumps
10x Lunges (Per Leg)

Agis III (Once King of Sparta)

Agis III (Once King of Sparta)

Chances are, you’ve probably never heard of Agis III. Even though he had one of the coolest last stands in the history of the recorded world, Agis III is still widely forgotten by history, probably because he was defeated by another badass humbly known as Alexander the Great and because of that kickass movie 300.

Even though he was eventually defeated, Agis III ruled Sparta for nine years, after the death of his father. He tried as hard as he could to fight against the incoming menace that was Alexander the Great of Macedonia, but wound up (like everyone else Alexander fought) on the losing end. He fell in battle after being wounded several times to the front of his body, then picked himself back up (bleeding heavily) and held the pass by himself to give his men time to escape. People were so afraid to come at him, this god of death on the battlefield, that he had to be killed by a thrown javelin instead of a sword.

Chipper Style Workout, Complete For Time:
50 Box Jumps (24/20 in)
50 Pull-Ups
50 Kettlebell Swings (1/.75 pood)
50 Walking Lunge Steps
50 Toes-to-bar
50 Push Presses (45/35 lb)
50 V-ups
50 Push-ups
50 Burpees
50 Double-Unders

*Perform all 500 repetitions in the above order. Perform all 50 box jumps, for example, before you move onto the 50 jumping pull-ups.

**Score is the time it takes you to complete all the reps.